As what the title says, yes im really upsad. If you are my close friends you knew how hurt i was last time. Almost torturing, things i went thru even cry infront of everyone. What happen is my past.

She was tot a nice girl(past) some girl that i used to really love like hell. Never before feel that much love. Until 1 day shes really changing. I never expected that punch to come and hit me. I was badly hurt inside. Each and every second of my living life was meaningless. I cant think well, sleep well, eat well, drink well and even think well. It was a hell of mylife. My heart felt so hurt that i can physically feel the hurting, till i must touch my chest and try squeezing it, wondering why it hurt so much. I can never forget that feeling. All because of what she did and never thing about all she know about is having fun, while me in the other hand trying to give the best for my R/S. I dont know what to do in that point of time. I was so lost that i promise and swear to myself that i dont want to go thru all this again. The pain that can kill my emotion and effect how i works with things. I cry almost every night and morning. Cant stand to bear the pain we move on. Never tot of being with her anymore the pain get worst. The pain get deeper.

Peer support. Thats what i get, got myself busy and time just flew next things months flew. The next thing i know i dont feel so much pain. Till i met you. Thought of having someone inlife i choose you, i choose to get to know you. As days pass i see you very different from her, i accepted you, i love you, i missing you so much each day, i see you as part of my daily life. I felt as if you are really meant for me. I see you that u will nvr return my pass ever till recently till i see my past in you. I swear its exactly the same. Now im scared, im scared that pain, stress and emotion will come again. I promise not to feel it again, now right this moment im feeling it coming. but i try to stay calm. Im confused once again. I dont want you to change. Please if i can you can too. Never in my mind that i want to leave you. Never in my mind i would want to let you go. Never in my mind to let you adrift. Never in my mind to let you fall. I told myself to treasure you since god bring me to you. I pray to him each and every single day before i when to sleep. I asked him to bring us closer. I asked him to let me have the chance to get to know you more. I asked him to forgive our sin and show us the right way. I ask him to give us both strength to overcome any situation we went thru and i ask him that 1 day we can really settles things down.

Now i really dont know how to face my week. Honestly i dont accept my close ones to drink. If you dont beleive me ask every single one of my friend ever did i advice them to stop drinking. But no matter what i cant stop them. Coz the just wont listen. But if you my love I promise i would never give up.

I know people wanna have fun, but there is much other way of having fun. In all means for me being with you is so much fun. Huging you is already fun, holding your hands is already fun. Having you as my everything is already really fun. Yet there is still so much other way of having fun.
But not by intoxicating yourself. Take a look in thailand, people been robbed, raped, beaten up, drug and got into road accident just because of intoxicating. I watch the documentary and i wonder why are this so people things that intoxicating is so much fun when you get all the bad stuff when u really awake. I know you propably says thats in thai. But its really happening in SG, how? one of my family members when thru it before. From that moment i see it happen i dont it to happen again to my love ones.

All i want is you to be happy and i want to make you happy myself. All i want is you! Hope you understand. I do this because i care and love you, if not i dont even bother. If you reading this i hope you snap out and see how i take you VERY SERIOUSLY. Im not playing arnd with you and never want to make you as my toy. I never regret knowing you when i thank god for god to let me know you. I just dont want to see my self in future getting hurt. I want to see you and me be so happy that we never been happy before in life.

You something really big deal to me now. Forgive me if im not that kind of guy that you want me to be. But this is just me. Forgive me if i hurt your feelings. Im hurt now typing this and with tears rolling down my eyes. I just want you, a happy you, and i want to be the 1 who make you happy not some bottle of alcohol etc.
I Love You & Will Always Will. Please stop :(

Now i hope i can pass my Highway code and concentrate on things.
And yes since the 1st day i care so much about you not even you but all of my friends.